06 September 2007: Reverse psychology - artillery style

Somebody told me that once August is gone you don’t have to worry about sandstorms anymore. We learned today that’s not true. Out of nowhere the wind picked up this morning. Before long, visibility was down to about 100meters or less. The sand blew all day and into the evening. Since we weren’t finished we had to work in this. The units have timetables they have to meet. Man it really sucked being outside today. I think my hat blew off two or three times – meaning I had to chase it down.

In spite of the weather, we managed to wrap up quite a bit. That means our days in Taji are dwindling rapidly. I don’t think my personnel will be complaining much when we leave. It’s not the worse place we’ve been in Iraq. There’s just something about it that makes it miserable. The biggest culprit is the sheer number of soldiers here. This place is a big transient camp. That’s not true for the whole place – there are units based in Taji. Most of the soldiers here are new and are preparing to push out into outlying patrol bases, camps, and FOBs. Before they do so they stop by Taji to get their mission configuration equipment for vehicles. That takes awhile. They won’t see their first mission until they get to where they are going. For now, the presence of so many soldiers means all the buses are full, the latrine stalls are full, the DFACs are full (perhaps explaining the latrine situation), the gyms are over crowded, and my team couldn’t get decent billets for this mission. It probably won’t be like this next time we visit the place. Hell, last time I was here I stayed in a decent place that was walking distance from everything. This time around I’m completely dependent on the buses, which means I have to fight with Joe for a place to sit. It all works out though. We adjusted ok.

With the sandstorm howling and no more work for the day we settled in for the night. Once again, the big cannons started shooting. It was worse than the previous night. I was rocked out of my sleep continually. It’s reverse psychological warfare. Our own cannons are keeping us up all night. I can see the wall coming fast and I’m going to crash right into the thing.

05 September 2007: Sock emergency

Socks wear out. Around here they wear out fast. This morning I was walking down to spot check some of the containers I’d inspected the night before. I suddenly had the sensation that my right big toe had freed itself from the confines of the sock. I made a quick pit stop to check. Sure enough, the big guy was sticking straight through the end of my sock. Here is where years of Joe ingenuity paid off. A quick assessment and I had a solution. If the hole was over my big toe when worn on the right foot it would be over the little toe on the left. I figured the big toe is the lead right? I switched left and right socks and was on my way. A couple of hours’ worth of walking and inspecting later and my good sock also failed. That troublesome right big toe had made the escape again. Damn! Now I had a gaping hole in both socks. I tried to gut it out for about another hour but when it started getting painful I knew drastic measures had to be taken. I bought another pair of socks. I’ve lost count on how many pairs of socks I’ve worn through here. Add mine to all the socks Joes have worn out and it would probably be a mountain of socks taller than Spear Tops Mountain back in Avery County, NC.

My socks didn’t die in vain. We made huge strides today. What was a huge mess yesterday became orderly perfection. The units we’re supporting had diligently worked at making corrections to the deficiencies we had found in their preparations. There were lots of smiles of relief. The process we’re putting them through is the last mental and physical hurdle they go through before traveling home. When we say it’s looking good it starts to hit them – now we’re going home. Suddenly everything has a rose-colored tint. All tension is gone. Laughs abound. The senior staff of one of the battalions invited me to lunch and supper. I’ll kill lots of socks to keep these guys happy. That means my team is doing our job.

I actually made it back to my room around 2200. It was an early night for us. You’d think we would all go straight to sleep. After working past midnight for so many straight nights our bodies were all in the middle of an adrenaline rush. I guess I finally drifted off around 2350. About thirty minutes later the outbound artillery fire started again. The rest of the night was spent drifting in and out of sleep to the rhythmic concussion and noise of big cannons. Iraq – this place is indelibly burned into the memory banks of my brain housing group. Actually, I don’t want to forget this place. Shit, I never could if I tried. It’s in me forever. There’s my life. Then there’s my life in Iraq. It’s a surrealistic adventure of sights, sounds, smells, and some of the best people I’ve ever known.

My Dad served in Vietnam (I’m not comparing wars here so don’t assume I am). I’ve always been fascinated by his experiences (a Marine Major at the time, he earned two Bronze Star with “V”). Yet Vietnam always seemed to me like a place that wasn’t real, that I could not connect with. I know that friends and family back home will ask me about what I’ve seen and done here on this – and previous – OIF deployments. They’ll react exactly how I used to react to Dad – fascinated but completely incapable of relating. I definitely relate much better now to Dad’s experiences.

Oh… back to that original pair of socks… I threw them away.

04 September 2007: What day is today?

We are losing track of the days right now. It may sound cliché to say that but it’s true. We’ve been working 18 hour days for several days in a row. Since the weather never changes, the temperature never changes, our attire never changes, our surroundings never change (except when we fly to another FOB), and our smell never changes (we all stink and are blissfully unaware), every day is the same as the one preceding – same as the one to follow. The calendar is changing but it doesn’t seem so. It’s a different day of the week but daily I overhear the question, “What day is today?” Every one of us has become as parts of a machine that just continually cycle through the exact repetitions. I guess that isn’t completely true. We do deviate from the cycle. Yet, inexorably, we are drawn back to it out of sheer necessity – our work demands it, the mission requires our focus. What day is it today?

Oh yeah, it was Tuesday. A blur it was. The units are working haphazardly at the things we’re asking them to do. It can be very frustrating. The worst part is that we have to inspect, re-inspect, and re-inspect again. All the while we’re telling them what needs to be fixed. It’s goddamn hot, unforgiving. My team and I take breaks in any AC we can find. Then we walk the several hundred meters it takes just to get to their equipment and containers. Next we walk the two or three hundred meters it takes to look at all their stuff. Sweat pours from everywhere. Slowly we make progress but it can be a maddening process. Today I must’ve walked about ten miles. Every time the sweat dries it makes my uniform stiffer, crunchier, and smellier. I worked today from 0700 until 0200. I estimate that I consumed about eight liters or water. That’s on top of three meals and all the fluids they included.

What’s at the end of the tunnel? I mean, my team and I are having fun. We’re doing this with smiles on our faces. We laugh a lot and make light of almost every inconvenience. So what is it that makes it easy to stay motivated? The units we’re helping right now are going home. The soldiers in these battalions have been here for fifteen months. They’ve endured incredible hardship, pain, and suffering that is inherent with combat. Their blood has stained the Iraqi soil. Some of them never made it this far. When we spend time with them we see the family they’ve become. For the rest of their lives they will never have to wonder if they have what it takes. They do and much more. They leave Iraq with their heads held high, their morale high, and their belief in one another beyond reproach. Ask any one of them if they’d be willing to do it again and you’d get a resounding yes. That doesn’t mean they aren’t ready to go home – they are. They’ve earned it. My team is the green light. We’re the enablers. I can’t think of a better way to serve these soldiers. Yeah our work might suck but you won’t catch any of my team shirking. At the end of the tunnel is the light every Joe has been dreaming of for fifteen long months – home. My team makes it happen.

I dream about home too.

03 September 2007: A junkyard called Camp Taji

Even though the big guns had kept us up all night we had work to do. We were all up and moving by 0700. The rest of the day we ran like a rooster with its head cut off. It was a blur of shipping labels, container inspections, HAZMAT paperwork, and anything else associated with military equipment redeployment. I returned to my room only once during the day. That was just to pick up something. I returned to my room for good at 0100. Get the picture?

Camp Taji is a colorless (unless you consider desert tan a color) place. It was a Republican Guard base before the invasion. There’s a massive collection of rusting tanks, artillery, trucks, and other gear. This was the equipment of what the media always referred to as “The Elite Republican Guards.” They didn’t even fight. Instead they just ran and abandoned all their equipment. I guess that took a special skill too. Would that make them elite? Anyway, back to Taji…. A unique sight here is the presence of a railroad track and rail cars. There are very few railroads in this country. To even see a railroad track is almost a miracle. The line isn’t in use and the few cars are abandoned, derailed, and wrecked.

Camp Taji is also right on the edge of Sunni suburbs to the west of Baghdad. There have been periods of heavy fighting all around. It’s relatively quiet now (VBIED not withstanding). I wouldn’t really say that I’d like to be a permanent party soldier here. However, I can say it’s infinitely nicer than a place like Warhorse. Hell, my billets are on the sight of former Republican Guard officer barracks. We have the nicest community latrine I’ve seen. It has real porcelain toilets that actually flush. The showers work and provide privacy and space. I can’t really complain. Taji just isn’t a pretty place to look at.

Joe does his best to spruce up the place. Give him a can of spray paint and some old Iraqi war junk and he can post messages all day. I guess one Joe spent all his money here and now can’t afford a ticket home. At least that’s what I gather from today’s photo. If I run into the Joe I’ll float him a loan so he can get himself “unstuck” from Iraq.

02 September 2007: Watching the Major drop the ball

Today had a life of its own. It seemed as though it would never end. We did more in one day than most people accomplish in three. It started early – around 0630 – when I got up for breakfast. This was our last day in UNION III so we had to get on up and get busy before it was time for our flight to Camp Taji. Our show time was 1245. That meant we had to wrap our work, make a quick sightseeing circuit of the Green Zone, stop at the embassy for lunch, and check-in at Washington LZ. I’m just warming up for how the day turned out.

We loaded all our gear at 0930 and stopped at UNION I. I needed to walk the line of their containers and ensure they were all in order. They were. It only took a few minutes. Then the sightseeing began. Our first stop was Prosperity Palace. Yeah, I know… I’ve been to all the places I’m about to mention. However, my two team members had not and they were excited. They were snapping photos faster than a couple of Japanese tourists in New York City. They posed with the Saddam colossi, snapped pictures of the wrecked palace, the compound gates, and any thing else that drew their attention. In no time we were off to the crossed sabers parade ground. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get the best photos here because there was a coalition unit having group photos made. My guys had to snap pictures from a distance. Surprisingly, neither of them posed with the sabers in the background.

Our next stop was the embassy palace. For me it was yet another visit to my old MNF-I stomping grounds. It was hilarious to watch my team. Their heads were on a swivel. First they were checking out the palace and the next one of the many females that work there. I gave them a quick tour. Afterward, we stopped at the embassy DFAC. This facility is so far removed from the austere DFACs at the FOBs. Everything is pristine. All the selections are fresh. Even light jazz music plays in the background. The patrons are a mix of high ranking U.S. military, civilians (contractor, state department, etc.), and coalition. It’s incredible to see the number of pretty females. My guys were particularly smitten by a young civilian girl in nice jeans, a pink top that was almost sleeveless, and a pink bandana in her hair. She looked like a college intern. When she got her food she asked a single Major a few tables down if the seat across from him was taken. He reacted with surprise that she had asked and offered the seat. I then gave the play-by-play (because I had a direct view) of the Major. He had the perfect opportunity but he fumbled badly. First he got fidgety – obviously trying to think of something to say. He’d look all over and attempt not to stare. Eventually, he’d say something and then stumble over what to say next. Before long his window of opportunity was dwindling fast. He became more noticeable in his stress. He finished his meal but loitered. I guess he was hoping she’d say something to him. He got a cup of coffee and tried to play Joe Cool. He waited too long. First, a cock-blocking female sergeant sat down next to him and started talking to the pretty civilian girl. Then the civilian got up and left. The look on the Major’s face was obvious failure. I could almost see his lips mutter “fuck” under his breath as he picked up his tray and left. Go sit back down on the bench until your ready to play Major.

After lunch we went straight to Washington LZ. Our blackhawks were on time and we made a short, uneventful flight to Camp Taji. Our contact wasn’t there to meet us so we had to wait awhile at the pax terminal. A thermometer in the shade read 110. It seemed a lot hotter. Our ride showed up about twenty minutes later and whisked us to our billets. We were all roomed together because there’re simply no available billets here. Taji is packed. The units we’re supporting here wanted to wait a day to start but we had none of that. We insisted on getting started immediately. We’re not here indefinitely. The sergeant providing us a ride took us to the first unit. It was located near the main gate. Just as we were walking towards the unit HQ there was a thunderous explosion nearby. The shockwave actually scooted some containers in the same parking lot a couple of inches. A VBIED (vehicle borne improvised explosive device) had detonated just outside the main gate. Thank God – nobody was hurt. It definitely was a break from the monotony though. I actually say that tongue-in-cheek. We could do without VBIED’s.

We ended up working until after midnight. A lot was accomplished. At around 0100 I walked to the latrine and took a shower. It was the first one I’d had in three days. I lingered for about thirty minutes. It felt damn good.

What normally would follow a relaxing shower after such a long day would be deep, relaxing sleep. Well… This is Iraq. Our billets were only about 400 meters from some big Paladins (self-propelled 155mm howitzers). They were sending their deadly packages down range on a frequent interval. That meant we were subject to the concussive blast of the big guns every time they fired. The noise would shake the buildings every time the guns fired. I guess I slept all of about two hours the whole night. I hope the guns hit their targets. They expended a lot of ordnance.

Actually, this was the “Readers’ Digest” version of today. It was even a lot more involved than this.

01 September 2007: Appalachian State? Hot! Army? Not!

College football is definitely back! Thank God for AFN sports. They don’t cover every game but they at least carry games. First, I’d like to congratulate my home boys from Appalachian State for slaying the Michigan dragon in Ann Arbor. That was awesome. The party last night was in Boone, NC. I’m sorry I missed the celebration. AFN didn’t cover that game. Instead, we had to endure the boring Virginia Tech – East Carolina game. The next game was Notre Dame – Georgia Tech. A couple of Captains came into the MWR and started sporting their ND gear. They asked me who I was going to root for and I said Georgia Tech. However, I told them not to worry because I wasn’t staying for the game (it didn’t start until after midnight). I wish I had. GT stomped that ND ass. My final comment on week one of college football is a no-brainer. Army sucks again. Yes my alma mater stunk up the joint again, losing to the Akron “Zips” 22-14. Ouch! Akron? Here’s the life of an Army football fan in a nutshell – you spend all year praying for football season to hurry up and arrive and then after the embarrassment of opening game you pray for the season to hurry up and end (and that the Navy blowout isn’t too bad). By the way, both Navy and AF Academy won their openers big.

Work for today consisted of supervising and inspecting a HAZMAT container. That was an all day process. There is a lot of paperwork involved. The unit kept shitting more HAZMAT as the day wore on. Eventually, we got it completed and my Coast Guard guy put the USCG seal on the door. The battalion movement officer looked like he’d had a major bowel movement by the time we were done. I don’t even have to mention that it was hot outside while we were doing this. Oh wait, I just did – it was hot.

Fortunately, it looks as though we will be able to do some sightseeing after all. My team is quite relieved at that. I’ll just watch them have fun because I’ve seen the Green Zone many a time.

31 August 2007: "One plane ride away from being ugly.."

Walking into the DFAC this morning brought happiness to every Joe. Every TV was tuned to AFN Sports, which was showing ESPN Sportscenter. The highlights from Thursday night college football were on. That’s right! Football season is officially here. There was even one game still playing when I arrived. LSU was cruising by Mississippi St. 45-0. Apparently, there had also been a full slate of NFL pre-season as well. Next weekend the pro season begins for real. This is good and bad. The good is that football season is everyone’s favorite. The bad is the time difference. AFN will show games live. We’re eight hours ahead of EST. That means sleep patterns are going to be disrupted severely for a lot of Joes who are staying up all night to watch football. I’m sure that by mid-September every FOB will look like Dawn of the Dead.

My team really didn’t need to do much today. We’ve made all our recommendations and we’re waiting for the unit to complete the tasks we outlined. Once they do that we’ll go back out and inspect. For the most part, we spent our day indoors. That’s a good thing too because it was another scorcher today. I even took the first afternoon nap I’ve had in well over a week. By evening time the unit was reaching completion. It looks as though we’ll be able to finish up Saturday.

Unlike the last time I was at UNION III, we’re not getting around the Green Zone on this visit. The two team members I have with me weren’t here last time so they are a little disappointed. We’re so close to the crossed sabers, tomb of the unknown, and Prosperity Palace. It just doesn’t look like we’ll get over to see them though. I keep reassuring them that we’ll be back to the Green Zone. If at all possible, I’ll make certain they get to go on a sightseeing trip before we leave. If that’s the biggest of my worries then we’re doing great. At least spending the entire time on the FOB has afforded me to gather some Joe thoughts. Just today I was in the latrine and noticed the stall had been paid a visit by both "Hard-up Joe" and "Introspective Joe".

Hard-up Joe normally shares wisdom on his female counterparts. Today's wisdom was as follows:

"Attn All Female Soldiers! You are all one plane ride away from being ugly! Again redeem yourselves and give it up once in awhile. Stop imposing a standard you don't uphold yourself"

Then came introspective Joe. He summed up Iraq.

"Iraq - this will all be a boring movie some day"

Perhaps the movie will be based upon my blog. That would definitely make for a long, boring movie!