Joes are a funny lot. They have a unique ability to grasp geography along perceived boundaries of cultural experience. Normally, their geography lessons are taught upon the same canvass of expressive thought commonly utilized by Joe – the port-o-jon. Until today I was convinced that Balad was in Iraq. When I glanced at any map it seemed to indicate that, indeed, Balad is just north of Baghdad. Joe has proven me, and many maps, to be incorrect. I stopped by a trusty KBR port-o-jon to empty my bladder. As fate would have it, I picked the classroom of Joe’s geography lesson. As my bladder emptied I looked to my left and saw that Professor Joe had made his statement.
“Balad doesn’t count as being in Iraq!”
One of Joe’s students offered a rebuttal. “It counts for those of us who go outside the wire.”
This brought down a stern rebuke from Professor Joe, who retorted, “Shut the fuck up bitch! Just go back out and lay by the pool!”
I’ve been schooled. All this time I thought Balad was in Iraq. Good thing for me that I actually travel to places that ARE in Iraq. Otherwise I would have been deployed for a year and mistakenly believing that I was in Iraq. Thank you Professor Joe. I look forward to your next geography lesson.
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1 comment:
LMAO, I don't know who you are or what you do, but I have to agree with you on the learnings that joe provides in the porto johns are full of wisdom. I left in July after spending a year on a MiTT living on an Iraqi FOB..... Yeah that sucked! When I visted Balad, on my way out on R&R and when I went home, I would have to agree, Balad isn't Iraq! Warhorse was great for us, we visted once or twice a week! Anyway keep up the work whatever it is and come home safe!
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