Although Joe is universally known for his jovial nature and quick wit he still likes to appear tough. I call this the “Bad Dude Game Face”. Day after day I go through a similar routine in the morning. Regardless of FOB, I take a hike down to the DFAC for breakfast. Inevitably I’ll pass several Joes on the way and back. Since the sun is always shining relentlessly here they always have sunglasses on. The sunglasses are always black and are either the Army issue WileyX wraparounds, Oakleys, Revo, or some other similar brand. Behind those dark sunglasses I encounter some of the most intimidating looking faces. The lenses are so dark they conceal the eyes. I always get the impression that every Joe is trying to look as mean as possible. It’s always the “back the fuck off" vibe. As I approach a Joe it’s always the same scenario. He’ll have the most serious look he can muster. As we get closer I can see he’s eyeballing me suspiciously from behind those sunglasses. Just then, the distance closes enough for tough guy Joe to realize I’m not just another Joe – rank comes into play. Within six paces of one another Joe snaps a salute and says something on the order of “good morning sir!” I always smile back at Joe (as I don’t subscribe to the idea that I have to come across as bad ass) and say, “good morning, how are you today?” Normally this catches Joe off guard. He’s not used to being asked that question. Generally the response is on the lines of “fine sir”. For just a moment I caused Joe to come out from behind his bad assitude. I relish the moment.
This morning when I reached the DFAC I happened to notice a bumper sticker on an NTV. It may have been the most ridiculous bullshit I’ve ever read. I’ll let it speak for itself. Here’s what it said:
“If you can read this bumper sticker you should thank a teacher. If you can read it in English you should thank a soldier!”
Uh…. What the fuck? Who came up with something that stupid? For that matter, who was the idiot who plastered that on his NTV? Somewhere I missed the part where I’m supposed to be defending someone’s right to speak English. Last time I checked I failed to notice where there was an assault on the English language. I found myself wanting to find the owner of the NTV to ask about what was implied by the bumper sticker. After I gave it some thought I decided the bumper sticker needed one more sentence for me to agree with it – “If you agree with this honk your horn to let everyone know that ignorance thrives.” Let me analyze this a little further. English is the official language of the United States. However…..
- my military training has never emphasized enforcement of speaking English
- English is not mandated by the Constitution
- I’ve never been given a mission that mentioned anything about defending the English language
- At no time do I remember our enemies saying that speaking English was something they aimed to stamp out in the world.
I’m not a politically correct person. However there’s a difference between saying something that’s not politically correct and saying something that’s simply wrong. I found the bumper sticker offensive. It doesn’t represent what soldiers are fighting and dying for. It’s just the kind of statement that helps fuel the hatred of our enemies. They can look at that bumper sticker and say, “see, I told you the Americans are modern crusaders who are here to end our way of life, end our culture, and end our language.” Nothing is further from the truth. I didn’t find the owner of the NTV. It was gone when I left the DFAC. I’ll be on the lookout though.
I won’t leave on such a serious note. Later in the day I stepped into one of the KBR port-o-jons. Once again I was happy I did. There must be a Timothy McVeigh Jr. walking around LSAA. He wrote the following quote:
“LEAVE THE ARMY AND START YOUR OWN MALITIA!”
This earned a couple of stern rebukes from other Joes. Spelling police Joe crossed a line through “MALITIA” and wrote “Militia dumbass”. Psychoanalyst Joe reached a conclusion and surmised that the above quote was attributed to “THE MIND OF A TERRORIST (COWARD)”.
Apparently several Joes from 82nd Airborne Division had selected this particular facility as the canvas for their unit propaganda. A Joe from another unit must’ve taken offense to this. He wrote in bold, fat letters “82nd Gayborn DIV” – right on top of all the pro-82nd graffiti. Once again Joe brought a chuckle and smile to my face.
And the deployment continues……
This morning when I reached the DFAC I happened to notice a bumper sticker on an NTV. It may have been the most ridiculous bullshit I’ve ever read. I’ll let it speak for itself. Here’s what it said:
“If you can read this bumper sticker you should thank a teacher. If you can read it in English you should thank a soldier!”
Uh…. What the fuck? Who came up with something that stupid? For that matter, who was the idiot who plastered that on his NTV? Somewhere I missed the part where I’m supposed to be defending someone’s right to speak English. Last time I checked I failed to notice where there was an assault on the English language. I found myself wanting to find the owner of the NTV to ask about what was implied by the bumper sticker. After I gave it some thought I decided the bumper sticker needed one more sentence for me to agree with it – “If you agree with this honk your horn to let everyone know that ignorance thrives.” Let me analyze this a little further. English is the official language of the United States. However…..
- my military training has never emphasized enforcement of speaking English
- English is not mandated by the Constitution
- I’ve never been given a mission that mentioned anything about defending the English language
- At no time do I remember our enemies saying that speaking English was something they aimed to stamp out in the world.
I’m not a politically correct person. However there’s a difference between saying something that’s not politically correct and saying something that’s simply wrong. I found the bumper sticker offensive. It doesn’t represent what soldiers are fighting and dying for. It’s just the kind of statement that helps fuel the hatred of our enemies. They can look at that bumper sticker and say, “see, I told you the Americans are modern crusaders who are here to end our way of life, end our culture, and end our language.” Nothing is further from the truth. I didn’t find the owner of the NTV. It was gone when I left the DFAC. I’ll be on the lookout though.
I won’t leave on such a serious note. Later in the day I stepped into one of the KBR port-o-jons. Once again I was happy I did. There must be a Timothy McVeigh Jr. walking around LSAA. He wrote the following quote:
“LEAVE THE ARMY AND START YOUR OWN MALITIA!”
This earned a couple of stern rebukes from other Joes. Spelling police Joe crossed a line through “MALITIA” and wrote “Militia dumbass”. Psychoanalyst Joe reached a conclusion and surmised that the above quote was attributed to “THE MIND OF A TERRORIST (COWARD)”.
Apparently several Joes from 82nd Airborne Division had selected this particular facility as the canvas for their unit propaganda. A Joe from another unit must’ve taken offense to this. He wrote in bold, fat letters “82nd Gayborn DIV” – right on top of all the pro-82nd graffiti. Once again Joe brought a chuckle and smile to my face.
And the deployment continues……
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