07 July 2007: The Sordid Tale of Major P.

Today turned out to be the perfect opportunity to tell a sordid tale. Before I share this I’ll get you up to speed on what my team accomplished. We had mandatory training that encompassed subjects like “Issue a WARNO” and “Conduct PCC/PCI”. Since it was Saturday we only worked half a day. A few members of the team and I are flying out tonight for a mission in FOB Warhorse, which is located nearby at Baqubah. I’ve never been there so it should be interesting. I always enjoy treading new ground. It may affect my ability to update the blog. If I’m unable to get online while I’m gone I’ll update upon my return to LSAA. That’s my event update so now let me get on with the sordid tale I promised.

Ever since I arrived here I’ve been cleaning up the disaster a previous officer left behind. Normally when there is a command transition the outgoing personnel provide some continuity in the form of written SOPs (standard operating procedure), mission documentation, and other visual guides. It’s also expected that there be some form of mission statement that defines the purpose of the unit. None of that existed when I arrived. To make matters worse, the soldiers from the outgoing unit were only interested in leaving. It didn’t take long for me to figure out that I had a serious beef with the outgoing leadership. Nothing was available to assist me with transitioning in as the new team leader. The crazy thing was I couldn’t blame the Major that was here when I arrived. He was just clueless and a very weak leader. The officer prior to him was the culprit. This officer (another Major) had led the team for five months spanning May – September 2006. During that time he had done very little except “spotlight” himself. He had purposefully taken credit for everything the team had accomplished and shared none with his subordinates. I found a few memorandums he had authored that were a poor attempt to create an illusion of competence. They were useless to me. The bottom line is I had to redefine the way the team does business. I wrote (notice I didn't say re-wrote) the mission statement and developed a system of mission tracking, documentation, and review. I never expected to arrive here and have to invent the way we do business. Thanks to the prior administration that’s exactly what I had to do. Let me get back to the tale.

I haven’t even started to chip the iceberg on the story. I’m just building background so you are aware the type of character I’m talking about. This officer – Major P – apparently has a charismatic personality. I’ve never met him but know all about the guy. He was the “golden boy” of his unit. His chain-of-command loved him and bought his act hook, line, and sinker. Even though he was only in Iraq for five months he parlayed his time into a Bronze Star – his chain-of-command selling the idea until it was approved. Unfortunately, the narrative (used for award justification and approval) of the award is complete bullshit. I’ve read it and it is full of blatant falsehoods and non-existent events. Members of his team from the time he was OIC have verified that his award narrative is full of distortions and inconsistencies. It was certainly an example of a “good ol’boy network”taking care of their own. At this point I could stop and claim this is the tale I promised. I’m still only setting up the background. You see, he left Balad after five months for a reason. His unit had been tasked to provide a liaison officer to the United States Embassy in Pakistan. The officer selected for this choice assignment would provide interface with the Pakistani government for the safe passage of all coalition supply containers going overland to and from Afghanistan. Who else would be a better fit than Major P? Soon he was in place, living in style in Islamabad. All is well now right? Unfortunately for Major P what goes around comes around. His own character flaws were about to get him in serious trouble.

Soon after the dapper Major P arrived in Islamabad he met an American lady who was a co-worker at the U.S. Embassy. She fell for the dashing fellow. He fell harder though. Soon she realized he wasn’t the great guy he came across as at first. Word on the street is that he has a serious drinking problem and is a control freak. I guess it’s true. She broke up with him. He then proceeded to harass her. An embassy compound isn’t a big place so a stalking ex-lover is someone you can’t hide from. The situation became so bad that a “no contact” order was placed and Major P was relieved of his duties. He was subsequently reassigned to the states. This culminated in May 2007. It doesn’t end there.

29 June 2007 – Major P was arrested at the Minneapolis-St Paul airport. He was wearing a long brown coat, a wig, and fake beard. Under his coat he carried a stun gun, three cans of mace, and an expandable police baton. He had been approached at the baggage terminal by security, who were quick to notice the suspicious character. His car was found to contain flex cuffs, rope, a shovel, KY jelly, condoms, cotton strips, a turkey baster (go figure) and plans for the abduction. Somehow he had determined his former girlfriend’s flight itinerary and had concocted a plan to abduct her (or worse). Major P is now in jail charged with felony attempted kidnapping and is being held on $1,000,000 bond.

All of this news came to our light today. We had all wondered why the man had been relieved of his duties in Pakistan. Now we know. The truth ended up being much worse than anything we ever imagined. If you’d like to get the complete story simply go to Google and enter words like “Army Major, bizarre kidnapping plot, Minneapolis-St Paul Airport, June 29 2007.” You’ll be shocked. Yet from what I’ve unraveled on my end it has been obvious there were a few things out of sorts with the guy. What’s telling is that soldiers who were on his team when he was OIC aren’t surprised. They all reacted with a “what goes around comes around” attitude. From what I’ve seen of his time in Balad they’re correct.

Sordid tale wasn’t it? Thank goodness he was arrested before he could go through with his plan.