Friday, August 31, 2007

30 August 2007: Joe gets busted by Squeakers


Squeakers the OPSEC hamster is ever-present. I attribute this to his very small size. It allows him to gain access into places no human could ever fit. That means Squeakers can be watching you at any time and you’d never suspect. It’s all in the name of operational security (OPSEC). I believe it was Squeaker’s grandfather who coined the phrase “Loose lips sink ships” back in WWII. Now Squeakers continues his family legacy. For Squeakers, this includes keeping an eye on FOB UNION III. Even a Joe in the heart of Baghdad may occasionally slip up and violate OPSEC. That’s where Squeakers springs into action. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the DFAC, back in the barracks, out on patrol, or taking a shit in the latrine. Earlier today I was in the latrine and saw evidence that a Joe had been busted by Squeakers. Apparently, Joe was taking a dump and the urge hit to pull out a pen and express his feelings. It seems his unit was very near to redeploying and, like any other Joe in the same situation, he was very happy. He forgot OPSEC.

Joe wrote, “XX number of days till X-XXCAV leaves and goes home.” (notice the ‘X’ marks. Remember Squeakers?)

Squeakers the Hamster had observed this blatant violation of OPSEC. When Joe finished, Squeakers provided a stern rebuke. It also served as a stark reminder to other Joes of the importance of OPSEC. Squeakers X’d out the days and unit number. Then he wrote a message to all Joes.

“OPSEC fuck-head! Unless you want that number to be NEVER!”

Remember – OPSEC is everyone’s responsibility! (no animals were harmed in the making of this graffiti)

I left the latrine refreshed in the knowledge that Squeakers was on the job. The rest of my day was a breeze. Actually, I could’ve used a cool breeze. It was hot. Most of the afternoon was spent at the customs layout inspection of the unit we’re supporting. Everything is paved here and that only makes it hotter. A cold swimming pool would have been nice. The Joes at the inspection were all laughing, throwing water on one another, and having a good time. They were all imbued with that air of “I’m going home!” It could’ve been 150 degrees and they would’ve been having fun.

I did get to see something I hadn’t on my last trip to UNION III. I walked up to the fifth floor of the Baath HQ and observed the giant, unfinished dome. I guess it was going to be a mini Haggia Sophia. A JDAM (Joint Directed Attack Munitions) back in March 2003 put a stop to construction. The construction crane still sits motionless and there’s nothing but emptiness where the dome was to be completed. Below the crane and dome-hole are mounds of rubble where the inside of the building was gutted by the bombs. However, there is an open ledge area that Joes turned into a boxing arena. On the far end they emblazoned the word “Hellraiser” on the wall. I was told that boxing “smokers” are held here about once a month. It was a pretty surreal scene. I wish I could be here to see the boxing.

Later on I was attempting to send e-mail but the net went down. It never came back up. That was very frustrating. It’s just part of life on these remote FOBs. Shit happens.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi, I am the person who created Squeakers, the OPSEC Hamster and I am glad you enjoy the commericals.